Updeat

I went .to my oncologist  on Thursday. He is having some blood work sent for testing to see if I am a risk for the cancer returning.  If  it is determined I am a high to moderate risk for the cancer to return I will have to have chemotherapy. If it comes back as low risk of the cancer returning I will only have to have radiation.
I have been an emotional mess since being dx.  The nurse yesterday was getting some demographics and asking me alot of questions. She ask me the years my children were born, I could not tell her. I knew the day of their birth but could not for the sake me of me figure out the years.
The nurse and tech looked at each other like I was an awful person because I could not remember thier birth years. I tried to figure it out by their  ages, but when I saw the looks on the nurse and tech faces I was an emotional mess and could not answer anything.
 The nurse took me back to the exam room. When she closed the door I broke down in tears. The doctor came in the room and ask me what was wrong. I garbled out I don't remembeed r my children's birth years.  Needless to say he wrote me a script to treat the stress.
I am sure I overreacted or misread the nurse and the tech looking at each other. Brerut it had been and extremely stressful day at work.

Update

To day was my appointment with the radiologist/oncologist. My treatments start in about four to six weeks, I first get a cat scan and then they determine a treatment plan. I know that I will be getting treatment everyday for five weeks on the whole breast and one week on just the site of the lumpectomy.
I go to my Oncologist tomorrow and he will then let me know if I have to chemotherapy. The doctor today seemed to think because of my age and the type of cancer I would proably need chemotherapy as well.  But I will find out more tomorrow. I know there is a specific test which I could not even begin to spell they have to do.
Any way, please continue to remember me in prayer. I feel so blessed to be able to share my journey with you.

Good News!

Good News! I met with my surgeon today. He stated my lymph nodes are clear, no cancer. The next step to this journey is to meet with the oncologist to hear what his recommendations are for my treatment. The cancer that was removed was only one centimeter. Stage 1. If I have to have cancer, I will take this any day.

Update on my Journey

Good Afternoon! I decided I was feeling well enough to update you on the progress of my journey. Firstly however I need to make a disclaimer I have received some feedback about me doing this blog. " your just trying to get sympathy "your not the only woman to have breast cancer" I just want to say, if you don't want to hear about my journey then go visit another blog or don't read my story. I am not trying to bring anyone down, or to gain sympathy, everyone has a story. I am doing this as a way for me to heal. By processing my journey on this blog it makes the journey a little less lonely. I also it will help make someone else who is going through a similar journey feel less alone. Now the Update I went for my pre operation testing last Friday and my Surgery was this past Monday. The surgery went well without complications. I was at the hospital by 7:30 am to start my pre admission process. The first step was to go to the radiology department where they injected my breast with radioactive dye. The technician explained the process. He stated the doctor would give me a local anesthetic to numb the area before he injected the dye. He did , this was the first needle involved for the day. Then he explained that when the doctor injected the dye it would burn. It did. He stated the burning was caused by the fat being separated from the other tissue. To the best of my knowledge, the purpose of the dye injection was to provide my surgeon a map to my lymph nodes. After the dye was injected, I was then transported by my hubby to the woman's center for a mammogram. They proceeded to squash my already sore breast like a pancake. Because I am a member of the itty bitty tittie committee, they had a hard time doing the mammogram. The second part to the mammogram was to once again use a needle to numb my breast just to insert another more permanent needle. Once this needle was inserted it stayed there and I was transported back to the hospital, with a Styrofoam cup over the needle that was inserted into my breast. I was then taken back to radiolgy where the technician spent about an hour taking pictures of the needle attached. I was then transported back to the pre surgery room where the heart monitor and the oxygen finger thing was attached. They also inserted an iv which again was another needle stick. I waited to be rolled back for my surgery. I waited and waited for about four hours with this needle in my breast. The nurse finally told me I had missed my surgery time because the previous processes took so long. The doctor came in also and told me he had an emergency he had to help with which also delayed my surgery. Finally I was taken back to the surgery room. The only thing I remember there was they put me on a table and told me they were giving me medication. I was gone. I came through the surgery just fine. The problem I had was waking up from the anesthesia. That took me about three or four hours per my husbands report. I always have difficulty waking up after surgery so this was no surprise. The doctor came in and talked to me. He stated he has removed some parts of the lymph nodes or the whole node I do not know for sure. He stated the hospital testing did not indicate any cancer in the lymph nodes, They are sending it out to another lab for her testing to be sure. He stated he made sure he got a large area around the cancer and the cancer itself. He allowed me to come home since he did not have to place a drain. I came home to recover. I did not go back to work until this morning. That was a mistake. I had to leave by noon because I was just not doing well at all. A lot of pain and still very weak. I go back to see him on November 5 th. I will get the results of the other test of the lymph nodes. He does not think there is anything to worry about, he just wanted to be sure. I guess I will learn the next step to this journey then. I tell you my friends, I have been truly blessed. This could have been so much more worse. I have a sweet doctor who I work with that is now probably going to die from this terrible disease. She has a very aggressive kind and really giving the battle of her life. You probably noticed the rainbow in the photo above. This photo was taken that Friday that I did my pre admission work. I went to work that morning and this is what I saw as I got out of my car. Rainbows and lets me know he is walking this journey with me. Continue to pray for me and every woman who is suffering from this disease.

Good News- Praising God

I went for my follow up with Dr. Nicholson today. I did get good news if any form of cancer can be good news. The other two masses are benign..........Praising God and Jumping all around! He will be doing the lumpectomy next Monday the 29th. He said I would have two incisions one where the lumps are and the other is under my arm to check the lymph nodes. If the lymph nodes are clear, I will just need radiation. Which will follow sometime after I heal from the lumpectomy. There is still a chance the cancer could be in my lymph nodes, but I am praying for the best. I may have to stay in the hospital one night if he has to put in a drain. I will take this news any day!! I should have had more faith. I hold a strong belief that God talks to me through rainbows. Every crisis in my life if things turned out good, rainbows would show up everywhere, I ask for a double rainbow one time and he provided that. This week I was walking a patient down the hall yesterday and one of the doctors came out of her office. She handed me two booklets just out of the blue. She did not explain why or what they were. I just took them back to my office. The one was an inspirational calendar filled with rainbows and healing scriptures. The other booklet was filled with healing quotes and inspriation. The first page of that book had a picture of a big bright rainbow. Sunday afternoon, the sun was shining through our sun room window. I have a crystal picture frame setting on my bookcase. When the sun hit that there were rainbows all over my sunroom and into my family room. This has never happened before. I know some you will say that this is silly, but I have seen this happened all my life when troubles came and the outcome was going to be good or not as bad as I thought. I am praising and thanking God for my rainbows!!

Update on Pink Ribbon.

Today I went back for the second ultrasound. This one was on the right side of my right breast. The ultra sound showed two small masses. Given that I had a cancerous growth on the other side, they biopsied these today. They found one that the MRI did not show. I was somewhat more relaxed today because I knew what to expect. However the pain level was greater. This was because of my breast still being tender from the first biopsy. No one told me not to take my aspirin 81 before this procedure. The doctor was going to postpone my biopsy for five day because the chance of more bleeding. My reply to the doctor was,oh heck no, its going to be done today. I told him I would sign whatever I needed, but I wanted it done today. I did not have to sign anything, I think he felt sorry for me because I was crying my eyes out. The funny thing was I hardly bled at all. The nurse that assisted the doctor, was the nurse who assisted me before. The doctor was different. The little intern was there and a different female nurse. The nurse told the doctor that I was very anxious and would tense up. It was also funny, he told the Dr. you need to be kind to her. The staff were wonderful!! But again I wait. I see Dr.Nicholson next week on Wednesday. He will tell me the results of this biopsy and what is next with my journey.

MRI Results

Good afternoon my friends! Today started out to be a normal day filled with anticipation of what my results would show. Overall I have been handling this breast cancer diagnosis pretty well. I went to work this am like I always do. This morning I stopped by my supervisors office to take him an assessment. He ask me when I was going to fill out my Family Medical Leave forms. I felt no compassion from him, it was all business. I explained I still had personal leave left and when I had almost used that up I would complete the form now. I have been a good employee, I have always gotten super exceeds on all my evaluations. I supervised a team my self until my sarcoidiosis took all my strength. So for him to ask where I was from a business perspective only threw me for a loop. Once again in the scheme of things I am just a number. I prayed on my way home today for me to not judge him. That he had to think only of the business end of it all. I ask God for forgiveness for thinking so selfishly, that it should be all about me. I took a nap before my appointment while waiting for hubby to get home from golf. When he came home we drove to Dr. Nicholson's office. I signed in and again we waited. We did not have to wait very long however , the nurse called us back to the exam room. Once again on goes the little blue cape. My hubby was in the exam room with me, he has been a great support for me. Again we waited. Dr. Nicholson's came in and did the same exam as the last time, ask me some similar questions with a little twist to them. He finally started telling me the results of the MRI. 1. He said that the MRI showed another tumor , lump or whatever just above the cancer that was biopsied. 2. He said it also showed another tumor (whatever) at about 3:00 o'clock that looked suspicious. He said it was just above the mass that showed on the mamaogram that had not changed over the year. 3. He said I could choose to just go ahead and have a full mastectomy. But he suggested I not make that decision just yet. 4. He wants to have a biopsy done on the 3:00 mass. If that shows cancer he said there would be no choice but to have a mastectomy. 5. So again I wait. I am scheduled for another ultra sound on October 19th.Then they will schedule the biopsy. So again I wait. I am trying to be strong, I really am, but admittedly it is getting harder. I don't want to be selfish and think only of me. I want to be strong for my family. I ask that you pray for me, that I maintain control over my emotions for my family and friends sake.