Thursday, December 27, 2012
I HAD MY FIRST TREATMENT
Good Evening my friends.
I mistakenly posted this post on Susan's Hearts and Flowers. I went back to delete the post because I want that blog to be positive.
I just want to thank every one for their support and prayers. You all mean so much to me that words can not express. I know that all your prayers and positive thoughts for me made the difference in my prognosis. You are greatly loved.
I had my first radiation treatment today. I have such a vivid imagination, that I totally scare myself to death. I kept thinking a radiation beam would shoot me and it would be painful or burn me really bad. Of course these fears were irrational.
The staff was very competent in letting me know that I would not feel anything. They were right. It was a piece of cake. The machine did all the work,I just had to lay there.
I have had so many people look at my breast through this process. I told the technician today if one more person ask to see my breast " I was charging admission"
Going through this journey has caused me to face my own mortality. The prognosis for me is very very good. The risk is low for the cancer to come back. The doctors have stated this to me.
However, I have to admit, I still have my fears. Scriptures state that perfect love cast out fear. I pray for that perfect love and ask forgiveness because I am not there yet.
I realized as I traveled this journey that I am not so much afraid of dying but of giving up this wonderful life I am living. The thought of not existing is very overwhelming to me.
I know that God is in control. I know that he has walked every step of this journey with me, I have asked forgiveness for lack of faith and having this fear.
You are all greatly loved
Susan
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I'm so glad to hear that your first radiation treatment went so well! I didn't have to do that because I had a mastectomy but I too would have been thinking the same thing that you did. The unknown is scary! The Lord knows your heart. I think everyone is scared to die even though we know we shouldn't fear it it is the unknown that is scary.
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year!
Angela
God bless you Susan. Praying for you.
ReplyDeleteSusan, sometimes the road is so strange and foggy that we think we'll never come back into the sunshine. Trust that you will be guided all the way through and that your life will be a million times better for having gone through this very temporary experience (no matter how permanent and nasty it may seem at this present moment). You are loved and blessed and never alone.
ReplyDeleteYou are in my thoughts and prayers. xox
Susan I am so glad you are keeping your sense of humor through all this (charging admission made me laugh out loud). I'm so glad the first treatment went well. I know the fear and worry and yet we can give it to God and he will take on that burden! I will continue to pray for your healing my dear friend.
ReplyDeletehugs, Linda
Dearest Susan, I feel I have been given a special gift in knowing you after I lost Kelly. I needed to find my faith again and your words bring new meaning of hope to my life. I'm so happy for your prognosis and that this horrific disease will not claim another beautiful life. And, heck...I'd charge admission too:-D
ReplyDeleteI just love what each woman has written here, including you...How God has covered you with such warriors of the heart here, encouraging and inspiring you as you encouraging and inspire us...as iron sharpens iron, Proverbs 27:17...Being able to still laugh is one the greatest gifts we have when there is so much pain and fear*(real and or irrational). Blessings sweet sis.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad your treatment went well! My prayers are with you!
ReplyDeleteWishing you a Happy and healthy new year.
Kathy
Susan, don't be afraid to share your life on your other blog if you chose to. Sometimes life isn't always happiness and roses, so there is no need to have to hide that if you are having a rough time. Although we may not be facing the same path you are in life, I know there are many of us who can relate to having health problems or have fears about our lives as you are. It's normal to be scared about the unknown. I'm sure God understands why you are feeling this way. I think the fact you are acknowledging your fears is helping you come to terms with them. Sometimes it helps to pray for peace and for God to be with you in whatever path he has for you. I hope that will eventually help you in your journey.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad the treatment went well for you, and I hope you continue to do well. I know this is a scary time, but you sound like you have a good outlook. Wishing you well in this process and you will be in my prayers.
Thanks for stoppying by my blog and for being a great blogging friend.
Will be praying w/U!!
ReplyDelete