Thursday, October 11, 2012

MRI Results

Good afternoon my friends! Today started out to be a normal day filled with anticipation of what my results would show. Overall I have been handling this breast cancer diagnosis pretty well. I went to work this am like I always do. This morning I stopped by my supervisors office to take him an assessment. He ask me when I was going to fill out my Family Medical Leave forms. I felt no compassion from him, it was all business. I explained I still had personal leave left and when I had almost used that up I would complete the form now. I have been a good employee, I have always gotten super exceeds on all my evaluations. I supervised a team my self until my sarcoidiosis took all my strength. So for him to ask where I was from a business perspective only threw me for a loop. Once again in the scheme of things I am just a number. I prayed on my way home today for me to not judge him. That he had to think only of the business end of it all. I ask God for forgiveness for thinking so selfishly, that it should be all about me. I took a nap before my appointment while waiting for hubby to get home from golf. When he came home we drove to Dr. Nicholson's office. I signed in and again we waited. We did not have to wait very long however , the nurse called us back to the exam room. Once again on goes the little blue cape. My hubby was in the exam room with me, he has been a great support for me. Again we waited. Dr. Nicholson's came in and did the same exam as the last time, ask me some similar questions with a little twist to them. He finally started telling me the results of the MRI. 1. He said that the MRI showed another tumor , lump or whatever just above the cancer that was biopsied. 2. He said it also showed another tumor (whatever) at about 3:00 o'clock that looked suspicious. He said it was just above the mass that showed on the mamaogram that had not changed over the year. 3. He said I could choose to just go ahead and have a full mastectomy. But he suggested I not make that decision just yet. 4. He wants to have a biopsy done on the 3:00 mass. If that shows cancer he said there would be no choice but to have a mastectomy. 5. So again I wait. I am scheduled for another ultra sound on October 19th.Then they will schedule the biopsy. So again I wait. I am trying to be strong, I really am, but admittedly it is getting harder. I don't want to be selfish and think only of me. I want to be strong for my family. I ask that you pray for me, that I maintain control over my emotions for my family and friends sake.


  1. Dearest blogging friend,
    This is my very first visit to you. I caught a couple of words out of the corner of my eye on another blog and scrolled up because of your last words on your comment to her. "I blog because of people like you"...
    At first..I had so much I wanted to tell you after I read your story of the doctor office visit.
    ..but have decided to write you an email, if I can, instead.

  2. Keep strong, you are doing well. One step at a time.

  3. It is, what seems, a very long process. If I can offer any suggestions to help - no matter what, Insist on a Pet Scan! Our daughter opted for a double mastectomy with a 3cm lump in her right breast and thought she was being the most agressive she could be with her age consideration. Also, after the surgery, they released her and never did any chemo or radiation; another mistake. I believe if she had had both, she'd still be alive. I am trying to do lobbying for shared information between research hospitals--you'd be surprised how much research goes on that other hospitals or patients don't know anything about.
    And, never think you're not strong! Keeping this journal shows me how strong you are and your family knows it too. I'm sending you much love and prayers, XOXO

  4. Susan the waiting seems to be the hardest part for sure and the not knowing. I'm glad you have so much support from your husband! I am praying for you daily. I know other bloggers with breast cancer knowledge are reaching out to you. I am here any time you need to vent, scream, cry or rage! As for your boss, so many people are afraid of cancer they cover it up with 'business'. Keep you head up and moving forward my friend! hugs, Linda

  5. Susan, my prayers are with you is ok to feel selfish during this time. You need to concentrate on getting better and I am sure those around you will understand if sometimes you are short with them...Your highest priority is YOU at the moment....use all your energy to fight this and get better....May God grant your every prayer and may HIS peace keep you through it all....I think you are very strong and brave for sharing your experience on this blog....Sending you a big cyber hug and best wishes, Wendy